PANIGRAHANAM AND SAPTHAPATHI

The most important and significant parts of the marriage ceremony are the Pani Grahanam and Sapthapathi

PANI GRAHANAM

Pani Grahanam means that ‘bride and groom’ can/must touch and hold each other’s hand only and nobody else’s – at least on the wedding day however modern you are.

SAPTHAPATHI

Sapthapathi means Seven Sacred steps taken around the sacred Agni in the Homa Kundam. These seven steps and Veda mantras that are recited by the groom after the Sapthapathi, explain in lucid terms, the very essence and the basic purpose of a marriage.

The hands so joined during Pani Grahanam and Sapthapathi are to be held together forever for some decades at least.

HOROSCOPE IN WEDDING

Under Hindu Predictive Systems Compatibility is generally seen especially for marriage. Between Husband and Wife if there is great compatibility it is considered harmonious to lead a peaceful and happy life.

In most Hindu families, every individual has his or her horoscopes, janam patrika or kundali prepared. Since it is a very difficult task to get the accurate knowledge of the person's nature etc. before a marriage (or a long-term relationship), the proven since of Astrology can definitely help the two lives a great deal. A birth chart (also known as janma kundali, janam kundali, Vedic horoscope) captures the precise astronomical positions of stars and planets at the individual's birth moment.
Astrological compatibility consideration is not only a mere ancestral practice but is a way to get the knowledge regarding the nature, features, love and the social communication features of the people. Horoscope are usually made by pandits or astrologers or numerologists on the basis of the time and the date of a persons birth because, as per the Hindu belief, nothing in this universe happens accidentally or before its scheduled time.

The planetary Influence

According to the Hindu System of astrology, all predictions are based on the positions of the celestial bodies in the houses of the individual's horoscope. Such positions are governed by Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, Venus, Mercury, Sun, Moon, Uranus and Neptune, a planetary hour begins at the stated time and operates until the next one begins. A moment is considered to be four minutes, i.e., the time taken by the Sun to cross one degree of terrestrial longitude.

Attributes of Planets and Other Celestial Bodies

Saturn: Powerful, malefic, typifying crystallisation of thought, cold contemplation and Philosophic outlook.
Jupiter- Beneficent, uplifting, warm, expansive, hopeful and optimistic
Mars: Less malefic, forceful, Zealous, energetic, intense and heated up.
Sun: The giver of life, energy, vitality and authority.
Venus: Less beneficent than Jupiter harmonious, pure spiritual and blissful
Mercury: The winged messenger of god, neutral preceptor of mind, intellect, perception and expression.
Moon: Variability, emotionalism, reproduction and sensation.
Uranus: Abrupt transformations' extraordinary, revolutionary and out of the ordinary.
Neptune: Mysticism, hallucinations, fears, spiritual ecstasy.

Horoscope matching for marriages

A lot of marriages in Hindu Culture consider horoscope matching as the first step. The horoscopes are matched on the basis of health, wealth, longevity, well being of children etc. In Vedic Astrology, marital life is affected by the following parameters:

Nakshatras:

Moon moves around the Earth in little over 27 days. The whole path of the moon is divided into 27 parts, each of which is represented by a constellation. These constellations are known as Nakshatras and the moon "resides" in each nakshatra for approximately a day. As these nakshatras are associated with the moon, they are usually a better indicator of a person's emotional capacity.
Ashvini 2. Bharani 3. Krittika 4. Rohini 5. Mrugashira 6. Ardra 7. Punarvasu 8. Pushya 9. Ashlesha 10. Magha 11. Purva Phalguni 12. Uttara Phalguni 13. Hasta 14. Chitta,15 Swati, 16 Vishaka, 17Anuradha 18. Jyeshta 19. Moola 20. Poorva Ashada21. Uttara Ashada 22. Shravana 23. Dhanishta 24. Shatabhisha25. Poorva Bhadra 26. Uttara Bhadra 27. Revati

The factors which are important for compatibility analysis are derived from these 27 nakshatras. Based on the position of the moon in a nakshatra, the following factors are assigned to a chart.

Kuta Point System:

Apart from the parameters mentioned above, the compatibility is judged by points, known as kuta. These points are calculated by taking into account the position of Moon in both the charts. Moon in a person's chart represents the emotional aspect, his/her personality and capacity to care about other people. These points are added up to a maximum of 36 points. If the sum of the compatibility points is less than 18, marriage is not advisable. These points can also be calculated from the nakshatras of the bride and the groom directly.
Mahendra Kuta:

The Nakshatra of the man should be 4, 7, 10, 13, 16, 19, 22 or 25 Nakshatras away from the Nakshatra of the woman. A good Mahendra Kuta should promote the longevity of the relationship. This factor is mentioned in a Kuta analysis, but no points are given by this factor.

Stree Dirgha:

The Nakshatra of the man should preferably be more than 9 constellations away from the Nakshatra of the woman. This factor is mentioned in a Kuta analysis, but no points are given by this factor.

Rashi Kuta:

This factor is different from the factors, because this deals with the signs in which the Moons are located (and not the Nakshatras). The moon sign of the man is in 2, 3, 5, 6 away from the moon sign of the woman cause bad results others come good results. Rashi Kuta indicates growth of family, family welfare and economic conditions of the partner.

Dinam Kuta
If the Nakshatra of the man is 0, 2, 4, 6 or 8 Nakshatras from the Nakshatra of the woman it comes good results. If the number is 9 or more it is divided by 9 and we work with the remainder. It indicates the health and well being of the couple.
Yoni Kuta

This has to do with sexual compatibility, mutual love and sex inclinations.. Out of 27 nakshatras 14 numbers are consider as Male yonis and 13 numbers are considered as Female yonis. Male Yonis Male nakshatras are: Ashwini, Bharani, Pushya, Ashlesha, Magha, Uttara Phalguni, Swati, Jyeshta, Mula, Purvashadha, Uttarashadha, Shravana and Purva Bhadrapada and others female yonis.
Every Nakshatra has the characteristics of an animal indicative of sexual joy, mutual attraction and love. Example: Vishakha and Chitra are associated with a tiger yoni. That means these Nakshatras are rather wild in making love. There is also a division in male and female yonis. Vishakha has a male tiger yoni and Chitra a female tiger yoni. It is best if both partners are born in Nakshatras, which symbolize the same yoni type, but of different sexes. Therefore, someone with the Moon in Vishakha would be a great sexual match for someone with the Moon in Chitra. If a couple has friendly yonis of the female sex marriage will be acceptable. It will be difficult if the two people both have male yonis.

Vedha Kuta

Some Nakshatras are said to afflict each other. A marriage between people who have their Moons in Nakshatras, which afflict each other, should not take place. This is a list of the prohibited pairs:

Ashwini (1) and Jyeshta (18); Bharani (2) and Anuradha (17); Krittika (3) and Vishakha (16); Rohini (4) and Swati (15); Mrigashira (5) and Dhanistha (23); Ardra (6) and Shravana (22); Punarvasu (7) and Uttara Ashadha (21); Pushya (8) and Purva Ashadha (20); Ashlesha (9) and Mula (19); Magha (10) and Revati (27); Purva Phalguni (11) and Uttara Bhadrapada (26); Uttara Phalguni (12) and Purva Bhadrapada (25); Hasta (13) and Shatabhishak (24).

Vashya Kuta

Vashya Kuta, indicates the intensity of mutual attraction and affection between the partners. Vasyu Kuta magnetism makes understanding of each other easier. If the Moon of the female feels magnetism towards the Moon of the male one point is given. If the Moon of the male feels magnetism towards the Moon of the female, also one point is given. Therefore, the maximum amount of points to be gained from this factor is two, if magnetism exists from both sides. Given below given the matching list of each rashi.
.
Aries - Leo, Scorpio
Taurus - Cancer, Libra
Gemini - Virgo
Cancer - Scorpio, Sagittarius
Leo - Libra
Virgo - Gemini , Pisces
Libra - Virgo, Capricorn
Scorpio - Cancer
Sagittarius - Pisces
Capricorn - Aries, Aquarius
Aquarius - Aries
Pisces - Capricorn
Gana Kuta

Nakshatras classifieds as groups deva, human (manusha) and demon (rakshaka).
Deva (godly) nakshatras are Ashwini, Mrigashirsha, Punarvasu, Pushya, Hasta, Swati, Anuradha, Revati.

Human nakshatras are Bharani, Rohini, Ardra, Shravana and all the Purva and Uttara Nakshatras.

Rakshasa (demon) nakshatras are Krittika, Ashlesha, Magha, Chitra, Vishakha, Jyestha, Mula, Dhanistha, Shatabhishak.

People who have their Moons in Nakshatras that fall in the same category can marry. A deva man can marry a deva or manusha woman. He cannot marry a rakshaka woman. A manusha man can marry a deva woman or a manusha woman. He should not marry a rakshaka woman. A rakshaka man should not marry a deva woman or a manusha woman . He can marry a rakshaka woman. When the lords of the signs in the rashi or navamsa of the man and woman are the same bad Gana Kuta results can be compensated (however this does not change the points that are being given). Gana Kuta indicates the nature of the native and gives compatibility of temperament and mutual daily behaviors.

Graha Maitri

It is an indicator of friendship between the rashi lords of the Moonsigns of the couple. The two rashi lords can be friends, enemies or neutral to each other. When both are neutral, Graha Maitram is mediocre.

Rajjus

It is an indicator of longevity of the marriage, and is also based on the relative position of the two Nakshatras. The Janma Nakshatras of the couple should not fall in the same Rajju. If they fall in Sira (head) husband's death is likely; if in Kantha (neck) the wife may die; if in Udara (stomach) the children may die; if in Kati (waist) poverty may ensue; and if in Pada (foot) the couple may be always wandering. Hence, it is desirable that the boy and the girl have constellations belonging to different rajjus or groups for safety in household life.
Padarajju: Ashwini (1), Ashlesha (9), Magha (10), Jyeshta (18), Mula (19), Revati (27).

Katirajju: Bharani (2), Pushya (8), Purva Phalguni (11), Anuradha (17), Purva Ashadha (20), Uttara Bhadrapada (26).

Nabhi: Krittika (3), Punarvasu (7), Uttara Phalguni (12), Vishakha (16), Uttara Ashadha (21), Purva Bhadrapada (25).

Kantarajju: Rohini (4), Ardra (6), Hasta (13), Swati (15), Shravana (22), Shatabhishak (24).

Sirorajju: Mrigashira (5), Chitra (14), Dhanistha (23).

Varna

Which compares the castes of the Moon rashis (not Nakshatras): Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya, Shudra. It is said to be an indicator of the spiritual development of the couple. This is a factor, which is supposed to be an indication of the spiritual development of the partners.

These are the categories:

Brahmin (priests): Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.

Kshatriya (politics and war): Leo, Sagittarius, Libra.

Vaisya (business): Aries, Gemini, Aquarius.

Sudra (manual labour and service): Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn.


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BUSINESS PARTNERS AND MARTIAL PARTNERS WILL THE MARRIAGE SURVIVE

Part II

In the last article, we concluded by saying that keeping your business and personal relationships separate is very important to the survival of both your business and your marriage. In this article we will talk about how to achieve this goal.

One of the most important ways to accomplish this is to set up distinct business hours, and when they are over, don't discuss business, concentrate on your relationship. It is difficult, but make a concentrated effort at it. Confine your business discussions to business hours or set aside a specific time to discuss the business.

For example, take the last half hour of the day, and discuss the business day; any suggestions you have, what was accomplished, what needs to be done tomorrow, during the week, how are the monthly goals you set at the beginning of the month progressing. Remember to couch any criticisms or suggestions in a positive vein. Think of how you felt in the work situation and how supervisors dealt with you when making suggestions. Negatives only cause resentment. They do in the corporate arena, and even more so, when dealing with a spouse you must live with 24 hours a day. Be sure to set aside time for each other-go for walks, out to dinner, or just for a drive with your spouse. Do not discuss business.

You should have outside activities that are not business related. If not, join a group that interests you. It will allow you to meet with others who are not connected to your business. Running a home-based business can be very lonely; getting away from the home, and having outside interests is imperative.
In addition to the problems inherent to couples running a business, starting a home-based business presents its own set of problems and questions. Before you start be sure to ask yourself the following:

1. Are you self-motivated? Organized? Able to prioritize your work? You will no longer have a supervisor or a boss to tell you what to do. You will be the decision maker. You will have to motivate yourself. One way to accomplish this is to use a To Do List and stick to it. In addition, set definitive business hours, and stick to them.
2. Will you be able to deal with the isolation? You will no longer meet people in the halls, congregate around the coffee pot, or take a break to talk with your co-workers. To combat the loneliness and isolation be sure to join groups that meet outside the home, or schedule luncheons with friends and associates.

3. Write up a business plan. Be sure the business is something that interests you. You might want to start on a part-time basis, and grow from there. Research the business carefully, make sure there is a market, and the competition is not overwhelming.

4. Be sure you have at least six months living expenses set aside. This will give you the time to work through the marketing strategy outlined in your business plan, and avoid bad marketing practices. In addition, if changes need to be made, you can do so, without monetary concerns becoming an issue.

5. Be sure your office space is located in a separate room or area of your home that offers the least distractions. A separate office is best, especially if you are meeting with clients. Remember to always present a professional appearance.

6. When will you do your regular household chores? Make up a schedule of when you will deal with them. Some individuals find getting chores done before the start of the work day is best. At the end of the day, close your office door and then deal with the remaining household items that need to be handled. Time management will be a very important factor in running a home-based business.

7. For husband and wife teams, it becomes imperative to have some form of disability insurance for each other. Remember, even though your partner may be your husband or wife, he or she is still your business partner. An accident or illness to one of you can severely impact the operation of the business.

A business is only as good as you and your partner make it. It takes a lot of dedication, time and energy to run a business, whether it is home-based or not. It can be a very rewarding experience. Think carefully, and ask yourself a lot of self-searching questions before you begin.

Read from a matrimonial website.

BUSINESS PARTNERS AND MARTIAL PARTNERS WILL THE MARRIAGE SURVIVE

Part I

With today's economy, and the layoffs occurring as a result of these economic conditions, more and more people are opting to start their own business. Due to the low start up costs, the prevalence of home-based businesses is on the rise, many of these started by husband and wife teams.

With the move from the corporate world to the home-based, couples are finding that a new set of problems are occurring. In the corporate arena, two major areas of importance are profits and communication with employees. This is done through evaluations, reviews, meetings, or a company newsletter outlining company policies and news. All administrators realize that a happy and informed employee is more efficient and productive; in effect, increasing their profits.

Research on martial separation and divorce indicates two of the main causes of separation and divorce are communication and money, very much like corporate concerns. In the past, spouses worked in their respective jobs, and came home to discuss what was going on in the work place. In effect, they were sounding boards for one another. With the move to the home front, especially with starting up businesses together, the sounding boards are gone.

In effect, placing couples in a start-up business can cause a myriad of problems, previously seen only in the corporate world, in addition to the normal stumbling blocks of starting up a business. Too many couples working together are not practicing good communication skills. Lack of communication, can cause one spouse to feel that he or she is carrying all the business and monetary responsibility.

Keep Your Marriage Solid,If you and your spouse have decided to run a business together, be sure to discuss and outline the following:

Delineate responsibility. Decide who is going to handle what business matters. In addition, be sure you both know how to accomplish these functions. Unfortunately, illness occurs - you need to be able to back up each other in all aspects of the business. For example, if one of you does all the bank statements, be sure your spouse understands how this is accomplished, so if necessary, they can also handle this responsibility. If you have a set procedure you follow and a way you want it done, make up an outline, so it is accomplished in the manner you want.
Marketing, return calls, daily correspondence, invoicing, weekly and/or monthly expenses, supplies, calendaring, appointments, deposits, bank statements, implementation of the business plan, attendance at meetings (e.g. Chamber mixers, National groups, User groups, etc.) all need to be taken care of. You will have to split these responsibilities between you. Again, be sure you know how each is implemented, so in an emergency, you can back each other up.
Delineate responsibilities according to likes and dislikes and who will do the best job. We all have our little niches, and if it is something we like and do well, we can accomplish it better and more efficiently. Once the responsibilities have been delineated, make up a schedule for each item you both need to deal with. Again, you must be able to act as each others back up.

Marketing is a major obstacle. Most individuals do not like to use cold calling as a medium to promote their business. Be sure both of you are involved. Do not let one person handle this. In addition, develop a marketing strategy. Will you market daily, weekly, monthly? What kind of marketing will you do-advertising, cold calls, direct mail, etc. Again, be sure you both are involved. This is important because money and marketing are tied together. The more you market, the more aware the marketplace will be of the services you offer. If only one individual is marketing and monies are fluctuating, there is more tension between the partners to make the business successful. No one individual should have to carry this on their shoulders, or perceive that they do. In addition, with both spouses marketing, one person cannot blame the other for the success or failure of the business.

The Most Important Tool, Remember, the most important tool you both have is communication. Don't expect your spouse to read your mind. Keep the marriage and business separate. It's difficult, especially if you are home-based, but it can be done. If you have a problem with the way your spouse is accomplishing a task in the business environment, discuss it immediately. Do not wait. Do not let this build into anger that is transferred to your personal relationship. Remember that keeping your business and personal relationships separate is very important to the survival of both your business and your marriage.

Read from a matrimonial website.

BUILDING UP MARRIAGE WITH HEALTHY COMMUNICATION

Would you like to have a stronger, healthier, more enjoyable marriage? I am sure that you would. And yet we live in a culture where about half of all marriages will shatter and end in a divorce, leaving behind the wreckage of broken adults and broken children.

KEEPING A MARRIAGE ROMANTIC

My belief is that most relationship problems should be given less attention ... how much do you want to stir up the bottom muck? A couple will be happier if they pay much more attention to what is good about their relationship.

A romantic relationship happens because of the hopes and dreams a couple has for a happy life together. The relationship will be pleasant and rewarding as long as you pay attention to what inspires those hopes and dreams.
To keep a marriage romantic, build upon what makes your relationship worthwhile and wonderful

Nothing is perfect --

Don't expect a perfect relationship. That happens only in fairy tales. Problems will occur. You will get hurt. Being too concerned with the problems will stop you from paying enough attention to what is good in the relationship.
If perfection is the goal, you will compare how the relationship is now to what you think it should be. You will be continually disappointed. Making the relationship better should be the goal. Love happens by believing that both of you can continue to build a good relationship.

Your attitude should signal the other person that you will try to patiently work through each other's shortcomings. It won't be easy. Being tolerant and non-condemning is a challenge. But consciously making an effort to be tolerant goes a long way.

Build upon what is good --

Find activities that you both like and do them together. These can be activities such as gardening, cooking, hobbies, conversation, recreation, an interest in art, charity volunteering, and family activities. Having interests that are shared, keeps a couple involved in each other's lives.
Share ideas to find ways to more enjoy living. Tell your sweetheart about strategies you use for such things as achieving goals and enjoying yourself. Tell each other about what you think is interesting, what is worthwhile, and what is encouraging. If you share positive ideas, you will think of each other as pleasant and enjoyable.
Encourage your partner to act and make decisions. Both of you will be able to accomplish more with the other's support and encouragement. When there is a disagreement, be patient. If you need to criticize, offer an attractive alternative rather than a condemnation. Your encouragement likely will produce more good results than will your objections.

The good things in life are much more important than the disappointments. Remind yourselves often of the good in what you are doing. And take some time to do what you enjoy.

A SUMMER WEDDING

THE sunshine had come out to ensure the wedding of footballer Benji and his wife-to-be Sabine had the perfect backdrop.

For the month before the excitement had been growing amongst the players and supporters of St Cernin de l'Herm, a village in the south west of France, as the day came ever closer.

We had already been out for a meal and made the bride and groom walk around the restaurant whilst eating a banana - with no hands.


A large poster of the team picture had been printed and everyone had signed it and written a good luck message.

So by Saturday afternoon the junction of the small crossroads in Frayssinet-le-Gélet was busy with people waiting for Benji and Sabine to walk by.

In France many wedding ceremonies will take place in the village Mairie and then move on to the local church for a blessing.

And we were lucky that the two buildings were close by so that a short procession through the village could take place.

As we waited friends spread out cuttings from roses and other bushes across the pavement on the route the bride and groom would take to the church.

This is meant to bring the couple good luck and fortune and in other areas of France neighbours will lay down sheaves of corn.

Then the moment arrived as the couple stood at the top of the steps outside the Mairie and slowly made their way to the church, escorted by their parents.

Traffic came to a standstill as the procession of guests followed behind and walked the 150 meters to the church.

In the afternoon sunshine people slowly made their way into the church filling up the pews and taking up positions in the aisle for the chance to take a picture.

Once everyone was inside, and we must have numbered 200 or more, the bride and groom slowly made their way through the church.

Camera flashes lit up the dark entranceway as the couple made their way along the aisle; the organist played a tune that softly filled the church.

The priest opened the blessing with a short passage from the bible and then Sabine walked up to the microphone to deliver a short speech.

She thanked the many people that had turned up to see the bride and groom and that it had been an incredible day.

Then the priest delivered a short prayer and a musical interlude with saxophone and accordion was played.

The ceremony of the passing of the rings was undertaken with the assistance of the son of Sabine and Benji.

He carried the rings up to the alter of the church in a small, padded heart shaped bag and passed them to the priest.

The couple spoke a few words and placed the rings on each other's fingers as the cameras again flashed a whirred.

Everyone then began to make their way out of the church waiting for the bride and groom to stand outside the church for some more photographs.

But the players of St Cernin had one more trick up their shirts as we donned our kit and picked up a football each.

We made a guard of honour outside the church and held a ball high over the guests as they made their way out into the village square.

But it was Benji and Sabine who everyone was waiting for.

People passed around rice and confetti waiting for them to leave the church and run under the footballs, as they did the place exploded.

The church bell tolled and rice cascaded down on our heads covering the players and the newly married couple from head to toe.

Then it was time for more photographs, car horns sounding and the children throwing rice and confetti at each other.

As the day drifted into late afternoon it was time for a small aperitif and a few nibbles in the grounds of the Mairie.

Watching the sun slowly slide behind the church tower as the celebrations moved on into the night.

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